come back and haunt me {kenzie

[james]

n o b o d y s a i d i t w a s e a s y

it's such a shame for us to part

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[atrb=width,240] A moment’s respite. Finally. James closed his eyes briefly, leaning back against an unoccupied bit of wall in the Gryffindor common room. With all eyes otherwise engaged he was free to drop the smirk and devil may care demeanour. If only for a moment. He knew he had no right to be in a shit mood this minute. Believe him, he really did. It wasn’t as if he wanted to be a Debbie Downer at his own party, but there you go. Even James Potter can’t always be the cool nonchalant bloke 24/7. By all accounts, he should have been ecstatic, on his second fourth, maybe fifth glass of firewhisky and preparing for a little display of pyrotechnics. He should have been sliding an arm around someone’s shoulders – no one in particular, just anyone on hand, really – and toasting his team. His bloody brilliant team. Celebrating. And ordinarily, he would have been. Well, he was. Doing a damn fine job of it too, if he said so himself. Just, his heart wasn’t quite in it. Why? What could possibly bring party to the wee hours, then party some more James Potter into such a state? Well, what it pretty much always was these days; the beautiful little blonde thing he let slip away. Mackenzie Longbottom. Don’t get James wrong. He wasn’t a whiny teenage girl or anything. He was well good this morning. Positively beaming, actually. Between the lie in, the fine weather and quidditch, James was sitting quite comfortably in his usual spot on cloud nine. Sweet victory against Ravenclaw (he’d have to tease Rose about that later. Like he’d pass up the opportunity) had just been the icing on the cake. Until he’d touched down, grinning wildly as he was swallowed up by a cheering mob of red and gold, all the while searching for Kenzie. Just so he could thank her for putting up with the sport she disliked so much for his benefit. So he could run up to her, throw his arms around her and snog her senseless. Show her how happy he was. Merlin, how much he loved her... It wasn’t until their mountain of a keeper had clapped him on the shoulder that James realised what an idiot he’d been. Of course Kenzie wasn’t there. Why would she be? How’d he even manage to forget it, even if it was for that split second? She’d dumped him months ago. Regardless, James had bounced back, laughing loudly and moved on. At least, he thought he had. Now he couldn’t get the girl off his mind and it was driving him absolutely mental. He took a sip of his drink and pushed off the wall. Time’s up, let’s get this show on the road. He didn’t want anyone thinking there was something wrong with him, after all. Nodding to a few third years, he took some wet start fireworks out of his pocket and set them off. The entire common room erupted in a show of sound and light, colours dancing across the ceiling. Jumping onto one of the battered arm chairs, he raised his glass.”To Gryffindor! The only team in Hogwarts that can win and look pretty doing it! And we'll keep winning so long as you lot keep throwing the parties, yeah?!" There was another round of cheers and shouts and James smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. A moment later, he jumped off the armchair, accepting further congratulations. He’d done his bit. Now he just wanted an excuse to get out. James figured he’d earned himself a bit of a breather at the very least. Noticing their dwindling supply of alcohol, James wandered over to the refreshment table where his best mate and a girl were currently locked in conversation. And by conversation, he meant practically in each other’s laps about ready to start snogging any second. “Looks like we’re running low on the firewhiskey,” he remarked, probably to the air for all anyone was listening and raised his eyebrows at the table. “Don’t get too sloshed without me, alright? I’ll be back in a bit.” He’d practically made it home free – well, half of him had made it out of the portrait hole anyway – when his best friend started shouting him a list of other items to acquire. Must've been listening after all. James turned back towards the stuffy common room and poked his head back inside. “Fuck off, Coote. Get off your lazy arse and fetch it yourself. I’m not your bleeding mother.” he shouted back, amusement evident in his tone. Coote flipped him off and went back to chatting up whatever girl he’d managed to charm this time. “Yeah, love you too!” James shook his head, turning back to slip out into fresh air (finally) when he promptly collided heavily into something soft. “Merlin, sorry! I didn’t see you there...“ he said, offering a hand, his words losing momentum the instant he fully recognised who he’d just managed to bowl over. Kenzie. Thank you, universe. Really. You’re the best. He swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. “Alright Ke - - Longbottom?“

[atrb=width,100] words , 852 words tagged , kenzie <3 notes , homg, poor bby.

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[kenzie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/20gfl1v.jpg); padding: 30px; border: #2D2729 solid 30px; ] these dry bones cry out WORDS 683 OUTFIT CLICK TAGGED JAMES NOTES OMG THESE TWO Kenzie stared at herself in the cracked mirror as she held her shirt up to her chest. Her skin was pasty, like some thin sheath wrapped over the ribs jutting out of her sides, but she barely noticed any of this as her gaze lingered on her abdomen. She had to lose more weight, she told herelf and too sickened to look at her body anymore, she yanked the shirt back down. With quick movements, she turned the tap back on, letting the water splash around the basin as she looked at her face. Her hair was lanky, no longer holding the shine to the blonde strands, her eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles. And she had tracks of dry tears running down her cheeks. She swallowed, biting her lips as more tears fell from her eyes. She quickly splashed water on her face, sniffing and wiping away her tears. Her hands, which were clutching the basin, dug into her bag for her ever so important pack of concealer, which she dabbed on her face to hide the circles and give herself some color. She then took out her eyeliner and applied a thick, new coat to take away from the redness of her eyes. She was a wreck, and she had been for a very long time, and she honestly had nobody but herself to blame. She swallowed the lump in her throat and grabbed her bag and folders, leaving the bathroom before she could pity herself anymore. She's had a very long day, most of which she'd spent in either her bed or in the Room of Requirement with her friend Oliver. Although he'd quite successfully distracted her for a long time, her mind had often strayed to a brown haired, laughing boy who played the position of beater on her house team. She sulked. She'd never really liked the game, but she'd always gone to cheer him on, to give her support. It was too difficult today for her to go there and sit in the stands and have him swoop down and not kiss her or hold her. She supposed she shouldn't have broken up with him but she was living with it. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Kenzie. You made the decision, now live with it," she whispered to herself, as she wandered aimlessly down the halls. She wondered what James would think of her now, because she was barely the ghost of the girl he'd once loved. She had dropped weight like crazy over the summer, which would probably not pass him but that was only if she had the fortune (or misfortune) of running into him. She hadn't even eaten in two days, and she'd wanted to grab a bite but her recent revelations in the bathroom had stopped her from stuffing herself with a salad. She'd only just reached the common room when she felt herself slam into a well toned body. "Oof," she exclaimed, her folders falling to the floor as he hand automatically clutched the outstretched one to steady herself. The contact sent a shock of electricity travelling through her, and her head snapped up, the blood draining from her face. "James," she said, blankly, before realizing she was still holding his hand and immediately letting go as if burnt. She fell to her knees, letting her hair fall in her face to hide her tearing eyes as she gathered her fallen papers and stuffed them into her bag where they wouldn't fall again. But she kept the folders out, just to have something to hold onto. Taking a deep breath, to steady herself and let her tears dry up in her eyes, she looked at him with her guard up and a calculating look in her eyes. "I heard you won. I suppose congratulations are in order," she levelly, stopping herself from blurting out something horrifyingly stupid like 'I love you, take me back.' She cleared her throat and looked away, staring at a tapestry on the wall as if she was meant to do a thesis on it. these dry bones cry for you

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY GUNGOR

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[james]

n o b o d y s a i d i t w a s e a s y

it's such a shame for us to part

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[atrb=width,240] James was in a silent panic, heart hammering rapidly against his rib cage. Mackenzie Longbottom was here. Now. Clutching at his hand. James had never felt his cool disappear so quickly in the face of anything. Yet, it took every shred of willpower he possessed not to hold on just a little longer or yank his own hand back, driving the blonde straight against his chest and enveloped in a fierce embrace. She said his name, but he couldn’t hear it over the white noise, instead reading the syllable as it fell from her lips. And as they locked eyes, James felt his whole world crumble all over again. Merlin, but he’d missed her. Where had he gone wrong, he couldn’t help wondering. An old question he’d revisited more times than he’d ever admit. He’d thought they were doing fine - - They were fine. How he managed to read the situation so wrong, James had no idea. Then she wrenched her hand back from his slack grip, dropped to the floor and he was left feeling stung. Blinking a few times, his gaze dropped to his perpetually untied shoelaces. Any other time he would have been down on the ground with her, gathering everything up, but right now he needed those precious seconds to collect himself. So it was their first proper meeting, alone, after she’d left him standing at the station down a girlfriend and up a shattered heart. He could do this. No problem. He was James bloody Potter, born ready. She rose, and James suppressed the need to suck in a shuddery breath. She looked... awful. How could he miss the barely suppressed tears, or how thin she was, practically skin and bone? The visual whiplash was distressing. Where James expected to see a vibrant girl, he was awarded a poor imitation in place of his Kenzie. James’ heart dropped into his stomach. Fuck, this was all his fault. What had he done to her? His hands twitched at his sides. He ached to touch her, to apologise. Tell her everything was alright... Only that wasn't a luxury anymore. He wasn’t allowed. So, he savagely stuffed his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from grabbing hold and never letting go. “Yeah. It was a brilliant match. I’m gonna have a field trip next time I see Rose.” He grinned wide, tilting his head a little to the side. Something normal that didn’t hinge on their time spent as a couple. He wanted her to think he was fine, that she hadn’t hurt him at all. Hadn’t left him cleaning greasy car parts all summer with a single-mindedness even he couldn’t attribute to a curiosity of all things muggle. Nodding at her next words, he wondered if any of it was fooling her. James knew he could lie and lie well when he needed to, but this was a bit much, even for him. “Thanks,” he said offhandedly, running a hand through his hair. Merlin, be still James! It was just Kenzie. Only that was the problem. Then, unbidden, he continued. “I’d suppose they would be, but you don’t even like quidditch.” Merlin. It was obvious to him that it was nothing personal. She’d caught him at a bad time, when he was really feeling her absence and she was the only outlet available. He cringed inwardly, a litany of ‘shut up’ playing in his mind, but the words kept tumbling out. “So don’t feel obliged or anything. S’not like you have to pretend to care for my benefit anymore. And I’d hate it if you had to do anything you didn’t like,” he deadpanned. James’ eyes widened fractionally, blink-and-you-miss-it. He licked his lower lip, biting down on it hard. He might have been hurting, yes, but that was no excuse. He wanted to slap himself, jump off the Astronomy Tower, then set fire to the pieces just to make sure he’d never say something so needlessly horrible to her ever again. He wanted to turn tail and run, but he was too stubborn to be the first to leave, he told himself. It wasn’t because he loved the fact he was finally in her presence again after so long. Even if it was turning him into a bleeding twat. “The party’s still in full swing,” he said, voice slightly contrite by way of apology, gesturing back at the portrait hole with his head. Maybe he was saying ‘I want you around’ too. No doubt Kenzie would be able to read between the lines. She was a smart one. “If you’re interested, of course. I was just nipping out for extra refreshments, so you can bet half of them are already on the floor.” He offered a thin smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Silence of the awkward variety followed. She was steadfastly not looking at him. James was just trying to find something natural to do with his body; his shoulders were starting to ache he was holding his muscles so tense. Wracking his brain for anything to say to make this less awkward, he blurted, “Soo, how was your holiday?” Real smooth. “You know – “ He stumbled a millisecond, about to say ’I’. No matter how true it was, he couldn’t say it. James had already thrown one spanner in the works. “Lily really missed you,” he stressed. “She went on and on how she hadn’t heard from you in weeks. Sent us all bonkers with her complaining.” He forced a laugh, shrugging. Overall, it didn’t sound too put on or desperate. Though he was biased. It was totally possible he was hearing what he wanted to hear.

[atrb=width,100] words , 932 words tagged , kenzie <3 notes , god, he's a mess. i really wasn't expecting it to be this bad.

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[kenzie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/20gfl1v.jpg); padding: 30px; border: #2D2729 solid 30px; ] these dry bones cry out WORDS 1049 OUTFIT CLICK TAGGED JAMES NOTES OMG THESE TWO It wasn't easy as Kenzie stood there, her hand clutched to her side because suddenly the world seemed bleaker, colors seemed more faded and she felt more empty as soon as she let go of his grasp. She'd missed him, Merlin knew, and every hour, of every day since that day she'd said goodbye, her mind and body has craved him. And now, feeling his skin again and letting it go was like a blow to her battered heart one more time. Her gaze was stuck on his own, and she found herself unable to look away. She willed herself to drown in it, and she did, losing herself, her pain, until it suffocated her, until she couldn't breathe and she pulled away, blinking rapidly, her tears blurring her eyes as she looked down, biting her lip till she felt herself draw blood. She felt so wrong, and alone and lost and he seemed like the answer to everything, an answer she'd slammed the lid on. Because despite the fire between them, and the raging love, she'd grown up with him and he knew her inside out; he was her best friend, her only true counter part who knew her like the back of his hand. And she felt abandoned, because a part of her had wanted him to fight back, to fight for her. She supposed she wasn't worth it, and that brought a fresh pang to her ribs. The papers which she was picking up were rather unlucky, she wryly thought as she clutched them in a death grip and mercilessly shoved them in the folder she'd dropped. Half of them were tattered, or crinkled or destroyed from her nails, but she pretended not to notice because she had something to do with her hands and something not involving her within half an inch of her ex boyfriend. Her eye caught one of the journal pages she'd dropped, and it had a photo of them together from a happier, brighter time. He was smiling, grinning in fact at her, his arms around her and she was blushing, leaning into him. She gasped softly, before covering it with the other papers so he didn't see. She steadied herself on her feet as she stood up, her hands shaking as she fidgeted with the buckle on her bag and shoved the things inside. She felt her heart jump to her throat as she watched him study her and she instinctively clutched the edges of her jacket, one arm pulling her bag closer to her body. There was a time when, despite her fears, she'd found it exhilarating the way he looked at her, it made her heart pump fast. It still did, only now the giddiness rivaled the pain and she cleared her throat, keeping her eyes on him, pointedly. He didn't look to good himself but she didn't blame him, given the fact that she was in his company. She'd probably ruined his celebrations and she immediately felt and apology spring up on her tongue, her mouth open. But she shut it, softly shaking her head and looking down. "I'm pretty sure she won't take the teasing that easily,

[/b]" she smiled back, softly, pretending not to cringe at the happiness in his tone. And she felt like she'd been pushed into an alternate reality. He didn't care, it wasn't affecting him at all while she broke a little everyday. She could feel herself sway a little, barely visible but she chuckled to cover it up, and distract him. "When's the next one?[/b]" she asked, raising a cool brow, not letting him see inside of her.

She actually gasped at his next words, and this time even she couldn't stop herself from staggering back as if he'd slapped her across the face. Her teeth clamped shut to stop herself from sobbing and her hands shook. This whole time she'd let herself believe that he didn't care, that - that he was not bothered. But now she knew it - he hated her. He loathed her and she felt herself shake her head, and her eyes grow cold with accusation as her voice shook. "No, I don't. It's a real relief not having to pretend anymore, right? You'd know," she said, unable to hold back the snark. She pushed back her tangled her, leveling him with her gaze, her chin trembling with both anger and hurt. She nodded, as if she hadn't secretly loved being there to cheer him on, to be called 'his girl' as he swooped down and embraced her. "No, it really is an exhilarating isn't it, when somebody let's you go and you can chase better?" she asked, letting him know she was holding him back no more, that he was better off with girls million times more meant for him.

She shook her head, waving her hand as she ignored the music faintly thumping from inside. "No, I might just head up to bed. I'm not really hungry anyway," she said, curtly, trying not to feel too much about his invitation. It was probably common courtesy and she didn't think she would survive if he felt anymore sorry for her. "You don't need to feel sorry for me," she blurted, not realizing the end of her thoughts had translated into a point blank set of words. Mortified, her fingers went to her lips and she looked away, shaking her head at her stupidity. "I mean...forget it..I'm sure you'll have fun without me," she said.

"Oh?" she asked, raising a brow, her heart sinking. So only his family had missed her and she nodded, glad that at least they did. "I'll go meet her sometime then," she said, her throat constricting and she shrugged. "My holiday was pretty -" gruesome, she thought. She'd spent most of it either holed up in her room, or sitting on the terrace. It was something she often did when she felt particularly masochistic, sitting and listening to the trains go by until she was so full of fear, she ran back to her room, gasping. She didn't mention her nightmares either. He probably already thought of her as a freak. "Okay. It was pretty okay," she ended, lamely.


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these dry bones cry for you

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY GUNGOR

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[james]

n o b o d y s a i d i t w a s e a s y

it's such a shame for us to part

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[atrb=width,240] JAMES HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT SEEING KENZIE AGAIN WOULD DO TO HIM. THE LAST THING HE’D IMAGINED WAS WITNISSING THE SUM OF THEM; HOW FAR THEY’D FALLEN AND HOW MUCH HE’D LOST. JAMES HAD SPENT ALL SUMMER ALTERNATING BETWEEN BLAMING HER, THOUGH MOSTLY HIMSELF AND NOW HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. REGARDLESS, HE COULDN’T HELP FEELING HE’D MESSED UP SOMEHOW. MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR HER, GRABBED HER HAND AND SAID IT ONE LAST TIME; I LOVE YOU. I NEED YOU. MAYBE ONE MORE TIME COULD HAVE SWAYED HER. INSTEAD HE’D STOOD THERE, TURNED AWAY WHEN THE SHOCK WAS OVERTAKEN BY THE PAIN. WATCHED HER BACK AS SHE WALKED AWAY... COME TO THINK OF IT, HE’D HARDLY SAID A WORD. ALL BECAUSE HE’D BELIEVED IT WAS WHAT SHE WANTED AND JAMES NEVER COULD DENY KENZIE ANYTHING. BUT HE SURE COULD DENY HIMSELF FOR THE TIME BEING. HE SMILED WIDER SO SHE’D BELIEVE THE LIE SO HE COULD TOO. “IT WOULDN’T BE NEARLY AS FUN IF SHE DIDN’T,” HE SAID, EXPRESSION GROWING A LITTLE GENUINE AT HER LAUGH DESPITE HIMSELF. “NOT FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS, I’D EXPECT.” JAMES SHRUGGED, KEEPING UP WITH THE ACT. HER GASP WAS WHAT THREW HIM OVER THE EDGE, RUSHING TO HER AID LIKE HE WOULD HAVE ALL THOSE MONTHS AGO. EVEN AS SHE TOOK A STEP BACK, THE SHOCK WRITTEN PLAINLY ON HER FACE, JAMES TOOK A STEP FORWARD, HANDS READY TO COMFORT. BUT AT THE LAST SECOND, HE CHECKED HIMSELF. NO. HE COULDN’T. IT WASN’T HIS PLACE ANYMORE. SHE’D MADE SURE OF THAT. JAMES PULLED BACK, DISGUISING THE ABORTED MOTION AS A DESIRE TO SUDDENLY LEAN AGAINST THE OPPOSITE WALL. HE FORCEFULLY ADOPTED A CASUAL POSTURE, ONE FOOT CROSSED LIGHTLY OVER THE OTHER, SHOELACES DANGLING ON THE FLAGSTONES. BUT HE COULD APOLOGISE. PUT IT DOWN TO HIM BEING A GIT AGAIN, DON’T PAY HIM ANY MIND. AND HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO. WASN’T THE BREAKUP ITSELF ALREADY CAUSING ENOUGH BAD BLOOD BETWEEN THEM? THE WORDS WERE ALREADY ON THE TIP OF HIS TONGUE, READY TO FALL... UNTIL KENZIE SEEMED TO TRANSFORM BEFORE HIS VERY EYES. GONE WAS THE GIRL HE KNEW, REPLACED WITH A FIERY SPITBALL, ALL ANGER AND ACCUSATION. HE BIT THE INSIDE OF HIS CHEEK, DESPERATELY TRYING TO STEADY HIS BREATHING. JAMES COULDN’T DO THIS. HE COULDN’T. SHE’D LEFT HIM. FEEBLE EXCUSES HAD FALLEN FROM HER LIPS AND HE’D LISTENED. HAD BEEN WORKING HARD ON ACCEPTING THEM TOO. BUT THIS WAS A BIT RICH; HOW COULD SHE BE ACCUSING HIM? “I’D KNOW?” HE ASKED, DISBELIEF SEEPING FROM EVERY SYLLABLE. HIS EYES WERE WIDE AS HE SPRUNG OFF THE WALL, REMOVING THE DISTANCE HE’D JUST PUT BETWEEN THEM. HE CATALOGUED THE WAY SHE THREW HER HAIR OUT OF HER FACE AND HER EYES FLASHED IN DEFIANCE. IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT, TO BE SURE. JAMES FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO FORGET IT. BUT A DARK PART OF HIM WAS CONVINCED HE’D JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES TO KENZIE’S REAL FEELINGS ON THEIR BREAKUP. PROBABLY ON THEIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP. AND WHILE JAMES USUALLY IGNORED THE LITTLE DEVIL’S VOICE, HIS HURT SPURRED HIM TO TAKE NOTICE. SHE BLAMED HIM. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE WAS GLAD. SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO FOOL STUPID POTTER ANYMORE NOW THAT SHE WAS FREE OF HIM. HOW COULD HE HAVE BEEN SO NAIVE? HE WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF SHE WAS MOVING ON ALREADY, LEAVING HIM TO WATCH HER RUN OFF WITH SOME GUY TEN TIMES BETTER – NOT A TOTAL ARSE, THAT WAS FOR DAMN SURE – STANDING IN THE DUST ALONE. STUNG, HE HIT HER RIGHT WHERE HE KNEW IT WOULD HURT MOST. IF KENZIE THOUGHT HE WAS PLAYING THE FIELD, THAN HE’D BE PLAYING THE GODDAMN FIELD. “YEAH, I GUESS IT IS,” HE COUNTERED, ALL BUT GLARING AT HER. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER. ALL THOSE GIRLS ALREADY LINED UP FOR JAMES POTTER. I GUESS I’D BE DOING THEM A FAVOUR, GOING OUT WITH ONE OF THEM.” HE SHOOK HIS HEAD, LAUGHING BITTERLY IN HER FACE. “AND I SUPPOSE THEY WON’T KICK ME TO THE CURB LIKE I’M NOTHING. THAT’S GOT TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING, RIGHT?” HE TAUNTED, HANDS CLENCHING AND UNCLENCHING INTO FISTS BY HIS SIDE. SMILING SARDONICALLY, HE CONTINUED AGAINST HIS BETTER JUDGEMENT. “I’M SURE YOU’RE HAVING A GRAND OLD TIME WITHOUT ME GETTING IN YOUR WAY TOO, HUH?" CLUTCHING AT HIS CHEST, HE RUBBED ABSENTLY JUST BELOW HIS COLLARBONE AS IF IT WOULD EASE UP THE EMOTIONAL BURDEN. "COULDEN’T GET RID OF ME FAST ENOUGH, COULD YOU?” HE SAID, DARKLY, FINALLY TURNING AWAY IN FRUSTRATION AT HIMSELF. GOD, HE COULD HARDLY LOOK HER IN THE EYE ANYMORE, KNOWING WHAT A PRAT HE WAS BEING, BUT UNABLE TO STOP HIMSELF REGARDLESS. HE NODDED, CLENCHING HIS JAW SHUT TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM BLURTING ANYTHING ELSE, BUT HER NEXT WORDS HAD HIM SNAPPING HIS HEAD UP, GAZE INTENT. “NO... I DIDN’T...” HE STARTED. SWALLOWED HARD, TRIED AGAIN. “NO, YOU’VE GOT IT ALL...” SIGHING, HE BLINKED HEAVILY, THROWING IN THE TOWEL. SHE’D MISSED HIS MEANING ENTIRELY. JAMES FELT ANOTHER WAVE OF AGONY CRASH AGAINST HIS CHEST, REMINDED YET AGAIN OF HOW MUCH HE’D LOST. “SURE.” HE RELENTED, EYES FAINTLY DOWNCAST. “MAYBE YOU CAN COME TO THE NEXT ONE?” HE FINALLY SAID, EXPRESSION MORE HOPEFUL THAN CASUALLY OFFERING. “YEAH, I’M SURE SHE’D LIKE THAT.” HE SCUFFED HIS SHOE ON THE GROUND JUST SO HE WAS KICKING SOMETHING. GOD, WHAT AN IDIOT! IF ONLY HE COULD KICK HIMSELF IN THE STOMACH. HELL, MAYBE HE COULD CONVINCE SOMEONE TO GO BACK OUT ONTO THE QUIDDITCH PITCH AND TRY FOR A BLUDGER IN THE HEAD? “GREAT. THAT’S JUST, YEAH. GOOD,” HE REPLIED, TRAILING OFF TOWARDS THE END.

[atrb=width,100] words , 945 words tagged , kenzie <3 notes , sorry for leaving this hanging for as long as i did

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[kenzie]

Jan 28, 2012 23:28:26 GMT 1 @kenzie said:

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/20gfl1v.jpg); padding: 30px; border: #2D2729 solid 30px; ] these dry bones cry out WORDS 681 OUTFIT CLICK TAGGED JAMES NOTES OMG THESE TWO Kenzie didn't know what was worse, the brutal clash of words between them, the expression they kept on their face or the hidden emotions wanting to pour out, infusing their words with a mix of agony and fury. She felt herself shake as she saw him reach out for her, and she felt like she would collapse if he didn't draw her into his arms. But he didn't and she shook her head, to try and shake the thoughts out of her head. They were over, they were over and gone and there was not much she could do anymore. "It's fine. I'm fine,

[/b]" she said mechanically as she turned to rest her palm on the wall beside her, not daring to meet his eyes in fear of what she'd find there. The anger was burning under her skin, anger at him, anger at herself and part of her wanted to reach out and shake him, to scream that he was blind to not see how much this had hurt her too.

"Yeah, you would,[/b]" she threw back, her face twisting. "Isn't that what you were doing the whole time with me? Pretending to like me, when you and I both know you could do so much better,[/b]" she spat back, and her tears finally escaped her eyes, with a floodgate lowering itself. And suddenly she couldn't hold back anymore, the hurt she'd bundled up inside her for all these weeks was crushing her inside out and now it spurted out in brutal words. His words were like he'd thrown her into the Black Lake, cold, suffocating. He was happy, he was content, all those girls lining up for him, he said. "You didn't even waste any time moving on,[/b]" she said, dropping her bag to the folder as she walked right up to him. She didn't wipe her eyes, or hide the sniffle as she cried. She wasn't going to pretend anymore, because she was done playing games and she was sure that so was he. "But I suppose it's okay. Maybe one day I'll find somebody who'll actually fight for me when I need them to,[/b]" she said.

She scoffed at his words, shaking her head as he spewed venom at her. Her lip curled and she hissed at him before she could stop herself. "You don't know a thing about why I did what I did, but from where I'm standing, you didn't even try and stop me, which makes me wonder if you were just waiting for me to cut the cord before you did it yourself eventually,[/b]" she blurted at him. Her eyes travelled down to where he was rubbing his chest as if it hurt and her own hand went to her collar. "It hurts, doesn't it? But then again, how would you know?"[/b] she whispered.

She bit her lip as he offered her to come to the next match and she could see the look in his eyes, as if he was hoping for her to come. She didn't know what to make of it, but only that it would hurt them both, rip apart their already bleeding wounds. But her words spoke for themselves and tumbled off her lips. "Sure, I'll come,[/b]" she said.

She swallowed watching him stumble through his words awkwardly before she said the first thing that came to her mind, without going through the mental filter she called her brains. "Is it always going to be like this, with us?[/b]" she asked, her voice saddened as she studied him through tired eyes. "I don't want it to be like this, I - I -[/b]" she said, her throat closing up. Her eyes landed to her shoes, as she fidgeted with the right words. She couldn't say I miss you, not could she say I love you, no, especially not that. She looked up, trying to remember her life pre-James and then she realized it had never happened. They'd grown up around the same people, known each other since they were in diapers. "You're my best friend, too,[/b]" she whispered.

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these dry bones cry for you

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY GUNGOR

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